Despite the fact that I know what is going to happen, I still engage in these silly behaviors that are so bad for me.
I got home from work late, so of course I felt like a hungry tiger as I arrived home, which meant I made terrible food choices. Including eating a piece of chocolate cake. And then a second piece. I did take 6 units of insulin, but there is so much fat and sugar in the cake, it made my blood sugar rise after I fell asleep. (This I can see on my continuous glucose monitor history, happening at about 2 AM.)
Why? I know this is what will happen! And yet I do it again and again - eat something bad for me late at night, and I wake up 6 hours later with a glucose above 200. I wish there were something or someone to shake me out of this terrible behavior, but I just keep doing it. Could it be true that I am addicted to carbs? Or addicted to chocolate?
Sometimes I am convinced that that was the last time, that I'll shape up. But then I just choose something else to binge on - chocolate, cheese, toast, even a couple bowls of all bran cereal (though that has an effect on more than my blood sugar.) Why can't I behave?